When I eat at people's houses in the Summer months, the pudding is, invariably, soft, sweet fruit. I was having a discussion with someone today about my views on this most undelectable of desserts and would like to share them.
I do NOT like soft fruit.
There! I said it!
They are always a let down for me. I remember when strawberries used to be sweet and juicy. Now they seem to taste exactly like the Haribo versions. Peaches and nectarines have gone the same way, and don't get me started on the standard sour apricot.
Just not worth it I'm afraid :(
Wednesday 25 May 2011
Thursday 19 May 2011
Sounding smart when drunk.....
Reproduced from the internets.
Things that are difficult to say when drunk
Things that are difficult to say when drunk
- Indubitably
- Innovative
- Preliminary
- Proliferation
- Cinnamon
- Specificity
- British Constitution
- Passive-aggresive disorder
- Loquacious
- Transubstantiate
- Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
- Nope, no more booze for me
- Sorry, but you're not really my type
- Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out?
- Oh, I just couldn't. Nobody wants to hear me sing
- Sorry, I'm being such a jackass
Wednesday 18 May 2011
Night driving, headlights and pheasants
Doing a lot of night driving, I've come to the conclusion that most road users (I am of course excluding myself from this since I am an obvisouly exemplary driver) are a danger to life and limb.
This thought came around due to the frequency in which my rear view mirror is filled with ultra high beam xenon lights. These used to be the reserve of the BMW/Audi/Mercedes driver and I can live with that. You pay £50,000 for a car, you deserve to let people in front of you know about it. However, it appears that these headlights are coming as either upgrades or standard equipment on more everyday cars.
The VW Golf is a top offender, with their drivers cocooned in the middle lane, illuminating anything and everything on both sides of a dual carriageway. It could be that they are being safe in that if they were to drive on the continent they would not need to adjust their headlights at all - saving one thing from the 'to do' list.
Lots of the newer Toyota models have this issue, but surprisingly I don't find it an issue with the Prius (I've got plenty of other issues with that car, but this isn't one of them). The Prius is capable of some truly remarkable motorway speeds - a point that I've never seen mentioned in their ads - and it soon zooms past and glides off in to the night.
I recently had to replace my headlights and since I wanted to waste a morning I chose to do it myself. Knowing what I do now about how the holders are on springs and BOTH sides to be removed, this would be a 10 minute job. However, it may have taken me over an hour, laptop in hand, to solve the mystery of 'Why won't my headlight bracket come off?!?'. Still, in the end it was sorted and I've replaced my bulb with a high intensity one....... yes, I illuminate the ENTIRE road surface (so much so that roadworkers could use my car instead of those floodlights on an articulated arm) and I feel bad driving behind someone on the motorway. But you know what, without those headlights I never would have seen the pheasant that nearly had me scraping feathers out of my wheelarch for a week.
So, to sum up. I hated those lights and now I've joined the club :s
This thought came around due to the frequency in which my rear view mirror is filled with ultra high beam xenon lights. These used to be the reserve of the BMW/Audi/Mercedes driver and I can live with that. You pay £50,000 for a car, you deserve to let people in front of you know about it. However, it appears that these headlights are coming as either upgrades or standard equipment on more everyday cars.
The VW Golf is a top offender, with their drivers cocooned in the middle lane, illuminating anything and everything on both sides of a dual carriageway. It could be that they are being safe in that if they were to drive on the continent they would not need to adjust their headlights at all - saving one thing from the 'to do' list.
Lots of the newer Toyota models have this issue, but surprisingly I don't find it an issue with the Prius (I've got plenty of other issues with that car, but this isn't one of them). The Prius is capable of some truly remarkable motorway speeds - a point that I've never seen mentioned in their ads - and it soon zooms past and glides off in to the night.
I recently had to replace my headlights and since I wanted to waste a morning I chose to do it myself. Knowing what I do now about how the holders are on springs and BOTH sides to be removed, this would be a 10 minute job. However, it may have taken me over an hour, laptop in hand, to solve the mystery of 'Why won't my headlight bracket come off?!?'. Still, in the end it was sorted and I've replaced my bulb with a high intensity one....... yes, I illuminate the ENTIRE road surface (so much so that roadworkers could use my car instead of those floodlights on an articulated arm) and I feel bad driving behind someone on the motorway. But you know what, without those headlights I never would have seen the pheasant that nearly had me scraping feathers out of my wheelarch for a week.
So, to sum up. I hated those lights and now I've joined the club :s
Friday 13 May 2011
The Apprentice
This week I finally got round to watching some of 'The Apprentice' on iPlayer. This show is apprently really popular, yet I can't quite figure out if I like it.
It appears to me that the rich man (in this instance, played by Lord Alan Sugar) is using his wealth to make 12 typecast 'achievers' scrabble around doing his bidding in the hope that he'll pick one of them to be his friend all the while having them being observed by his royally appointed babysitters. Obviously there is the backstabbing and bickering that occurs in every work place, but this is not the first season of the show. Surely a crafty contestant would wait until their project manager (always shortened to PM which will surprise David Cameron) is asleep, handcuff them to the bed and then run off with the prize.......
Now, what happens if you're on this show to escape your boring 80-hour working week? Do you tell your boss that you've got TB and have to stay at home? Of the contestants this year a few look like they genuinely (I would say naively) believe they can win. Who books a 12 week holiday unless you say you're pregnant and that is one BIG commitment to lying right there?
Can Alan not find normal people to be friends with?
Is business so bad for him that he needs the BBC to pay for his stupid frosted glass boardroom double doors?
Is there a security team on the premises to stop them going on the rampage after being fired?
Speaking of his boardroom - he uses a phone (I'm sure it's not an Amstrad one......) to call through to his secretary who appears to be just an arm with easy clean hand attachment. It's actually quite freaky that a disembodied voice floats around and the contestants are then invited into the boardroom to receive the signal famous all over the world to mean 'Prostate exam', yet in this case means 'You're fired!'.
So, will I be watching more of it?
I'm sad to say that I think I will! The show has me hooked to see just how many idiotic things these monkeys will do for money. I'm secretly hoping that it's a double switch scheme and Lord Sugar is leading up to a challenge where the teams are faced with a dead body and have to take the blame for their idol. Now THAT is good tv!
It appears to me that the rich man (in this instance, played by Lord Alan Sugar) is using his wealth to make 12 typecast 'achievers' scrabble around doing his bidding in the hope that he'll pick one of them to be his friend all the while having them being observed by his royally appointed babysitters. Obviously there is the backstabbing and bickering that occurs in every work place, but this is not the first season of the show. Surely a crafty contestant would wait until their project manager (always shortened to PM which will surprise David Cameron) is asleep, handcuff them to the bed and then run off with the prize.......
Now, what happens if you're on this show to escape your boring 80-hour working week? Do you tell your boss that you've got TB and have to stay at home? Of the contestants this year a few look like they genuinely (I would say naively) believe they can win. Who books a 12 week holiday unless you say you're pregnant and that is one BIG commitment to lying right there?
Can Alan not find normal people to be friends with?
Is business so bad for him that he needs the BBC to pay for his stupid frosted glass boardroom double doors?
Is there a security team on the premises to stop them going on the rampage after being fired?
Speaking of his boardroom - he uses a phone (I'm sure it's not an Amstrad one......) to call through to his secretary who appears to be just an arm with easy clean hand attachment. It's actually quite freaky that a disembodied voice floats around and the contestants are then invited into the boardroom to receive the signal famous all over the world to mean 'Prostate exam', yet in this case means 'You're fired!'.
So, will I be watching more of it?
I'm sad to say that I think I will! The show has me hooked to see just how many idiotic things these monkeys will do for money. I'm secretly hoping that it's a double switch scheme and Lord Sugar is leading up to a challenge where the teams are faced with a dead body and have to take the blame for their idol. Now THAT is good tv!
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